This Is How I Sleep


Lately, my dates start with Amy coming over at 7 AM after she's been working all night. If she finds parking, which she ALWAYS does, she'll phone me when she reaches the gate. "Hi, I'm here."

Then, I'll get up fom bed and buzz her through the front. This morning, I hear the doorbell ring -- DING DONG!.

Luckily, I was already up at the same time to pee and semi-awake to greet her.

Just as I started to press the buzzer, I hear DING DONG! again.

The time in between the first set of rings and the second set couldn't have been more than three seconds. And my ultra polite, very into her slumber, housemate is sleeping mere feet from the doorbell.

Holy crap, I thought, my four year old nephews are at the door!

I run downstairs

It's Amy.

"My phone is dead. Sorry," she says

In my head, I'm thinking something really mean, something like you're a doctor, and you can't even keep a phone alive?

But I don't say it.

We go to bed and we pretend to sleep.

Her head is on the pillow that's on my arm.

My arm sleeps.

Then, I sleep.




This is how I sleep.