ewwww, hmmm, EWWWWW!


I have a theory about roommates.

If you don't hate a roommate, you better watch out for the love bug. The longer you live peacefully with someone, the more comfortable you feel around them, and the easier it is to see them as a potential mate.

I'm in no way sexually attracted to my housemate, Cecilia. For one, she's almost ten years older and she's way to logical and pedantic for my taste. I like 'em more irrational and spritely.

She DOES, however, share her fantastic banana bread, buy me Thai food, offer hugs, and move my car if she thinks I'm fishing for a ticket.

When she does things like this, my heart goes "awwwwww". Then, my mouth goes "mththhhhhppptt" and I feel nauseous.

Then, I'll be in the kitchen pouring a bowl of Cheerios. She'll put a foot up on a chair to tie her shoes and I'll see her FUCKING ripped dancer legs! It's like the first time I realized my own mother is hot. It's "ewwww" and "hmm" and "EWWWWW!" all within 5 seconds.

It would never work.

Bottom line: she decorates with stuffed animals and hangs postcards everywhere with thumbtacks. There's no way we could even hook-up even if we were drunk.