Franz has brought it to my attention that it's bad form to recycle old posts. My head is spinning with responses to his comment

...or is it the chocolate milk and Hostess Apple Pie I just ate?

I agree, I should have indicated that it was an old post. I hereby announce my last post's vintage nature. I will also go back and date it accordingly.

In my defense, however, I did change some punctuation here and there. I deleted a lot of hyphens and dashes. I was hyphen crazy back in January. I saw them being used in one of Egger's books to denote silence and I thought it was brilliant. So I stole it and put it into practice. [Go back and see the changes yourself.]

Please also notice the way I will interrupt what a character is saying, or a character’s thought, and I will insert my own thought. This may seem very Palahniuk, and it is. I stole that too.

Actually, I don't have anything original. I pretty much copy those two authors and the stories found in my second grade reading textbooks People Need People and The Way of The World. Keen readers will find many elements of Rikki Tikki Tavi in my current work. I feel very close to that story. My full name has two more syllables than average. Chris-tian Al-an A-ver-ry.

Ave-ry is wrong. It's closer to the word aviary than angry.

And the poems...every poem I've ever written pays tribute to Where the Sidewalk Ends, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, and Rumi.

So, please excuse me for reusing my very own stolen work. I merely thought it would be interesting to post something remotely related to Portland.

The bottom line: I am cursed with intelligent readers. Perhaps I should write more tales about my hyperglycemic adventures in convenience stores.