A crying two year old just decided to fend me off by unleashing her pee pee fury.

Think of seltzer bottles. Think of cans of Mt. Dew shaken and opened abruptly.

In six years of nursing, I've never faced such a urinary onslaught.

In the end, I stood victorious -- my face and neck dripping and sticky -- holding high a full milliliter of pee in a specimen container.