Beyond Economics, Rhinos, and Rhinoplasty
I'm in Agra, India, home of the Taj Mahal. I'll see it tomorrow.
How I got from Varanasi to here, and what I did in between to entertain myself along the way, is an story of epic proportion. You see, in India, you pay for your fun, not just in rupees*, but with little installments of your mind and body.
Tonight, instead of writing another long cryptic tale, I'll share with you a single lesson of what I like to call the metaeconomics of a traveler in India.
The following is an activity I participated in over the last seven days. For this activity you will see an Indian resident's rupee price, my rupee price, and the additional tax on my mind and body. This, my friends, is metaeconomics!
[I wanted to make this a longer entry, one that included many experiences with the corresponding prices and such, but I'm way to exhausted to include them. Enjoy the one measly example. Now, imagine the torment I go through every day, being a rich, hairy, white person of above average looks in a place like India.]
ACTIVITY:
Safari in Khana National Park, Kipling's Jungle Book forest. The goal here, people, is to see tigers. That's what they advertise and that's why you go.
INDIAN TOURIST PRICE:
10 - 30 Rupees
FOREIGN TOURIST PRICE:
800 - 1200+ Rupees. Rangers charge you 10 rupees per kilometer for transport in their Jeep. Along the way you may see a few cute and furry "wild" animals like the swamp deer, monkeys, jackals (which look more like really cute and confused looking foxes), bison, and small jungle cats (which look and act like a squirrel on methamphetamines). Sadly, there weren't any rhinos at this particular park.
The rangers drive all over the park adding thirty to forty kilometers on their odometer. Every once in awhile, they tell the driver to stop the Jeep. The guide says, "I hear alarm calls." We sit and listen to the forest for a few minutes. We hear some animal go: "ooooOOOOOooooo, ooooooOOOOOoooo." We drive the Jeep down the dirt road some more and we see a herd of deer. None of them pay attention to us, so the guide makes a jackal call that sounds like a puppy whimpering and all the deer perk there ears up and look our way. This allows everyone to take better pictures.
As it gets closer to park closing time, they take you about twenty yards away from the ranger station, our morning starting point, where it seems they keep a pet tiger off leash. Everyone gets out of the Jeep, pays 600 rupees and climbs onto an elephant. You ride an elephant for three minutes, until finally, you see a real tiger, the pet one. It is magnificent and horrible at the same time. The elephant trainers will stay only a couple of minutes around the tiger unless the foreign tourists give him some serious bribes. Many tourists pay the 600 rupee fee and go back and pay even more bribes.
Does the WWF (not the World Wrestling Federation) know about this? I have the feeling these are the same types of people who would poach the tigers if there weren't severe penalties.
ADDITIONAL TAX:
I am disillusioned. The whole viewing of a "wild" tiger was contrived. It's like losing your virginity to a prostitute. I was just as happy to see them for free in Vegas, except in India I was more frightened because the tiger could easily hop up and eat me. At least the tigers in Vegas have a waterfall and fresh meat. The "wild" tiger was surrounded by farting elephants and was gnawing on a stinking swamp deer carcass.
My fellow travelers resented my opinion of the tiger show. I must admit though, the park was beautiful and it was my favorite place in India thus far.
* As of February 9th, 2004, the exchange rate of the Indian rupee to the U.S. dollar is approximately 45 to 1, respectively**.
** Ever since my ninth grade geometry with Ms. Pratt, I have wanted to use the word "respectively" in as many sentences as possible. Geometry textbooks are fraught with the word "respectively" (e.g. "The length of lines A, B, and C are 3 cm, 4 cm, and 5 cm, respectively.").
It is also worthy to note Ms. Pratt was a kind, yet very physically homely lesbian woman. She always wore Dockers and polo shirts. Her nose was huge and coincidentally Euclidean in nature. From her upper lip to the tip of her nose (side A) it measured 3.75 cm. From the tip of her nose up to her forehead (side B) it measured 5 cm. The height of her nose (side C) measured 6.25 cm. A perfect geometric theorem on her face!
Furthermore, it would be a tragedy if I did not mention that Ms. Pratt showed up to our class after the winter break with her 3, 4, 5 nose completely wrapped in gauze. Her reason: "I fractured it while playing indoor soccer." The following Monday, the bandages came off revealing fine surgical stitches and a more isosceles like protuberance.
Ms. Pratt, Vishnu bless her, had a nose job.
I'm in Agra, India, home of the Taj Mahal. I'll see it tomorrow.
How I got from Varanasi to here, and what I did in between to entertain myself along the way, is an story of epic proportion. You see, in India, you pay for your fun, not just in rupees*, but with little installments of your mind and body.
Tonight, instead of writing another long cryptic tale, I'll share with you a single lesson of what I like to call the metaeconomics of a traveler in India.
The following is an activity I participated in over the last seven days. For this activity you will see an Indian resident's rupee price, my rupee price, and the additional tax on my mind and body. This, my friends, is metaeconomics!
[I wanted to make this a longer entry, one that included many experiences with the corresponding prices and such, but I'm way to exhausted to include them. Enjoy the one measly example. Now, imagine the torment I go through every day, being a rich, hairy, white person of above average looks in a place like India.]
ACTIVITY:
Safari in Khana National Park, Kipling's Jungle Book forest. The goal here, people, is to see tigers. That's what they advertise and that's why you go.
INDIAN TOURIST PRICE:
10 - 30 Rupees
FOREIGN TOURIST PRICE:
800 - 1200+ Rupees. Rangers charge you 10 rupees per kilometer for transport in their Jeep. Along the way you may see a few cute and furry "wild" animals like the swamp deer, monkeys, jackals (which look more like really cute and confused looking foxes), bison, and small jungle cats (which look and act like a squirrel on methamphetamines). Sadly, there weren't any rhinos at this particular park.
The rangers drive all over the park adding thirty to forty kilometers on their odometer. Every once in awhile, they tell the driver to stop the Jeep. The guide says, "I hear alarm calls." We sit and listen to the forest for a few minutes. We hear some animal go: "ooooOOOOOooooo, ooooooOOOOOoooo." We drive the Jeep down the dirt road some more and we see a herd of deer. None of them pay attention to us, so the guide makes a jackal call that sounds like a puppy whimpering and all the deer perk there ears up and look our way. This allows everyone to take better pictures.
As it gets closer to park closing time, they take you about twenty yards away from the ranger station, our morning starting point, where it seems they keep a pet tiger off leash. Everyone gets out of the Jeep, pays 600 rupees and climbs onto an elephant. You ride an elephant for three minutes, until finally, you see a real tiger, the pet one. It is magnificent and horrible at the same time. The elephant trainers will stay only a couple of minutes around the tiger unless the foreign tourists give him some serious bribes. Many tourists pay the 600 rupee fee and go back and pay even more bribes.
Does the WWF (not the World Wrestling Federation) know about this? I have the feeling these are the same types of people who would poach the tigers if there weren't severe penalties.
ADDITIONAL TAX:
I am disillusioned. The whole viewing of a "wild" tiger was contrived. It's like losing your virginity to a prostitute. I was just as happy to see them for free in Vegas, except in India I was more frightened because the tiger could easily hop up and eat me. At least the tigers in Vegas have a waterfall and fresh meat. The "wild" tiger was surrounded by farting elephants and was gnawing on a stinking swamp deer carcass.
My fellow travelers resented my opinion of the tiger show. I must admit though, the park was beautiful and it was my favorite place in India thus far.
* As of February 9th, 2004, the exchange rate of the Indian rupee to the U.S. dollar is approximately 45 to 1, respectively**.
** Ever since my ninth grade geometry with Ms. Pratt, I have wanted to use the word "respectively" in as many sentences as possible. Geometry textbooks are fraught with the word "respectively" (e.g. "The length of lines A, B, and C are 3 cm, 4 cm, and 5 cm, respectively.").
It is also worthy to note Ms. Pratt was a kind, yet very physically homely lesbian woman. She always wore Dockers and polo shirts. Her nose was huge and coincidentally Euclidean in nature. From her upper lip to the tip of her nose (side A) it measured 3.75 cm. From the tip of her nose up to her forehead (side B) it measured 5 cm. The height of her nose (side C) measured 6.25 cm. A perfect geometric theorem on her face!
Furthermore, it would be a tragedy if I did not mention that Ms. Pratt showed up to our class after the winter break with her 3, 4, 5 nose completely wrapped in gauze. Her reason: "I fractured it while playing indoor soccer." The following Monday, the bandages came off revealing fine surgical stitches and a more isosceles like protuberance.
Ms. Pratt, Vishnu bless her, had a nose job.
posted by c. @ 2:12 AM
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