A monkey sat on my head today. I have pictures.

You've seen all those corny videos presented by Bob Sagget showing some rabid monkeys molesting poor Japanese tourists. Well, I was there today in person. I went in to Little Monkey Beirut.

I went before the actual opening time. It was like climbing into a cage at the zoo, except these monkeys were not scared. I didn't even bring any food inside the forest, but they still found me absolutely curious. A young one hopped up on my pack, took off my head scarf, attempted to groom my bald head, got a little perplexed that I hadn't any hair, and then proceeded to play the bongo drums on my pate. Krista took a digital picture.

Earlier in the day, I went by myself. I was too cheap to buy them food. I thought: "I'll just fake them out and feed them their own food." A group of them were huddled around a big pile of yucca. I slowly grabbed a piece and offered it to the small group. Instantly, an old, gray haired adult got really pissed. He bared his teethed and started hissing at me. I slowly moved away, but he kept chasing. Finally, I remembered an episode of Oprah when the Crocodile Hunter was guest. The Crocodile Hunter was being chased by a giant, violent lizard and all he did was hold his hands in the air and say, "Look at me! I'm big. I'm Big!" So, I did the same. The monkey backed down. I walked away thinking: "Yeah, who's the aplha male now."

Small monkeys have short term memories. Fifteen minutes later, I walked by the same monkey I got in a fight with and he just kept eating his yucca. He didn't even blink an eye.


An email from Krista, my yo-yo girlfriend, while I was traveling to Ubud:

geezus i'm so sick of people haggling me. wow. hope you are well. are you heading to ubud? if so i'll be here until wednesday morning. If you come look me up. i'm staying at warsi bungalows - red sign on monkey street. across from soccer field. if you see the monkey sancturary on monkey rd walk away from it. it is down 10-12 blocks from it. yesterday was amazing - i saw an aaaaaaaaaaaaamazing hindu ceremony. it was just stunning - i was so in awe i didn't know what to say.
wednesday i'm staying with made's brother and they are dressing me up like a balinese woman and i''m going to ceremony and sit in the temple to pray. swwwwwweetah.

let me know how you are.
k

She misses me. She hates me. Whatever. Day by day. Now we are traveling"buddies". Reluctant lovers.

I just read her email to me 5 minutes ago. Last night, I was walking down my losmen's alley and when I turned the corner someone called my name. It was krista. Ubud is a big place and she happens to be staying right across the street.

We hung out all day together. Her place is very romantic (she pays triple what I pay) with a rice field, koi pond, and hindu temple view. I took a nap in her bed. Later, we played travel battleship on the balcony in our underwear.

We are planning to travel together as much as we can stand. She's seen much more culture here than I-- at 5 times the price I've paid.

To her credit, she's seen some absolutely stunning events. Today, she showed me some similar temples and my jaw dropped open. They are unreal. Intricate stone carvings. Statues outlined with gold. Fountains and walkways. Stone temple gaurdians with big boners. It's surreal.

Plan: eat more cheap food. Go to Northern Bali on Wednesday (Tuesday your time).

Current thoughts: I have to go pee. I need to brush my teeth. This DEET is sticky.